An Outdoorsy Weekend

Hello! It is STILL over 70 degrees out here in NC. It's weird that I had to pull out a summer dress today....and it's December...still not over it.

To celebrate the lovely weather my dad and I made the most of our weekend outside. On Saturday we went canoeing in the lake down the road from our house. We canoed to the opposite side of the lake that we usually go to, and came upon the dam there. I had actually never seen a dam so close up before. It was interesting to see how our neighborhood lake was cut off by a huge concrete wall, only to waterfall into a tiny creek on the opposite side. On our way back home the sun was descending into the lake, making for some great pics!

On Sunday my dad and I went to the Uwharrie National Forest (still don't know how to pronounce that) to go hiking. Unfortunately, we had to drive about an hour and a half to get there, and it didn't end up being anything like I thought it was going to. Instead of hiking up a mountain to see great views, the trail only led us through dead trees. However, it was still nice to get outside and enjoy the weather so I won't complain anymore :) I only wish that we had more hiking trails closer to us, because driving so far is a burden. Fayetteville is probably the most boring town EVER and is actually in the middle of nowhere. Literally the only thing we have is chain restaurants and a very ghetto mall. So I'm glad that this Friday I will be going to visit some friends in Chapel Hill, and then next week we are going to Illinois! Until then I will continue to switch back and forth between Netflix, internet, books, and eating a great deal between. (This break was very much needed).

I'M BACK!

So basically I suck at blogging. I've been incognito for like 2 months lol SORRY. But I believe college is a pretty good excuse for that. I've been unable to breathe for the like the last 2 months because of stress, so worrying about this blog just would've been way too much for me to handle. But now the semester is OVER - thank god - and I'm here! As I am super lazy I will still not be posting everyday, most likely, but will try to keep you all updated. (You all? Is there anyone here? Am I literally talking to myself right now?)

My first semester at NC State has been a kind of rough one. I transferred here from UNCW and I miss it so so so much. Not just the beach, (although I do miss that A TON) but my friends and the comfort of a small school. NC State is ENORMOUS and overwhelming in some ways. The design school might be small but I would say it's the most overwhelming because everyone in it is super talented and makes me feel like I actually suck at EVERYTHING. When I compare myself to them I feel as if I will never succeed at being a designer. A couple weeks ago I actually had a mental breakdown about this to my dad over the phone and cried for half an hour. I have to apply for the graphic design program in January and the only pieces I have for my portfolio are black paper shapes glued onto huge pieces of white paper for my 2-D design class. Yeah that class was SHIT and definitely did not prepare me for this. Thanks prof!! (Very sarcastic). I am just hoping that what I have will be enough, and I may need to paint some more pieces in order to get enough for the portfolio requirement. Which is still a problem because I such at painting. HA I hate myself. So wish me luck. Because if I don't get into the graphic design program I literally have NO IDEA what I am going to do with my life :-)

Being a college student is stressful you see? I am CONSTANTLY worried about my future and whether or not I will become successful. I feel so much pressure to be the best at everything when inside I truly feel like I'm the worst. And then I start thing about how I'm wasting all of this money trying to do something that I know won't pay off. So what is the point?? Am I supposed to keep trying and wasting money until I finally find something that I'm good at? Or should I just give up now before it's too late to go back? This is the debate going on in my head pretty much at all times. Even now on break I feel like I'm unable to relax because there's still so much I need to DO. Maybe I need to stop thinking about who I should be and just BE. But I'm not sure how to do that yet. I'll have to keep working on it.

ANYWAYS, enough of my worries. Christmas is coming in two weeks and I couldn't be more excited!! (Even though it still feels like summer...) My family and I are going up to Illinois and although it's going to be colder there I'm really looking forward to seeing my family and the city of Chicago. And of course eating Chicago pizza. Really, REALLY excited for that :) The drive is going to suck too. 13 hours or something ridiculous like that? Idk what I'm going to do. I think I'll have to get some sleeping pills or something to just knock me out for most of the way. Actually YES I need to do that.

Well I hope you all have a good weekend, if I don't touch base with you again in the next couple of days. Enjoy the warm weather while it's here!